Just a thought

Jeane the end of May will not work for me. I'll be in mama mode and Grammy mode. I have to be in Chicago to take care of Vinnie and my pregnant daughter. We are leaving again May 31st. I'll be in Chicago at beast five weeks. My new baby is probably going to be born around June 18.

carla

I am one of the lurkers..I like reading your stories. 

I am active on other forums and groups here.. I have been on OH since 2008... 

and I tried a couple of times to post here...but I never felt welcome.  And then there was the pm I got from one of the "main people here" that told me that my comments are not welcome, and I should keep my opinion to myself... OK. 

I don't have children or grandchildren...and for a while this forum was mostly about family lives.. The grandkids...  I did not feel I belong.  This forum seamed to me more like a private group about family and friends and not OH WLS...  

I've also seen posts from other new people over 50 who tried to get into the group only to be run off buy some frequent posters here... Comments like " don't respond to her, you don't know who she is and why she is trying to get into the group"..,  were posted on the same tread that some people tried to introduce themselves. 

Some people forget this is not a private group, but public forum and anyone can see and read the posts... And fear of unkown is a powerful thing. 

Since I am on other forums and groups, that I connected with over the last few years, I don't have as much time and sometimes energy to post daily... 

Wow, I am so sorry that you felt unwelcome.  I sure hope it wasn't me, and if it was, I truly apologize.

I am one of those grandmothers who is guilty of Bragging about my Munchkins too much.  I found out I'd be a grandmother about two month post-op, and one year post-op, when my granddaughter was six weeks old, I was down almost hundred pounds, in a size 18 gown, dancing with my son at his wedding.  I had gone from a size 28 to 18, and thrilled.  I'm back up to 22, and holding.

I hope you'll post more.  I have other things to talk about, and may be moving this summer.

Hugs,

Trish

I think we know each other from other forums.  And It was not you Trish.  It was a general feeling, plus  the PM from another poster. I was not offended. I was told that if they need help with RNY related issues they have doctors or other forums they can go to.  I was told it was "a few people opinion". 

Plus that was around 2013...when some emotions on this board were rather heated... I did not feel comfortable getting involved.  

I really enjoy following peoples life here.  It is my morning coffee read.. Some happy - some sad times. 

I don't feel I have right to get involved, when I see what I call "distractive behaviour or diet", unless some asks for help.  ... And sometimes even the best constructive criticism, when it is not welcomed, can do more harm than good.  

I do wish everyone on here best luck. Really. 

And Since the "lurker" issue was brought up - I though I would show my face. 

I had my RNY in 2008, lost all my excess weight and 10 lbs. Regained some over the years. And now I am app 2-4 lbs from my goal. Slowly reseting my "high / low body weight point"..

I deal with some issues that may or may not be related to RNY like IBS, SIBO, food allergies, adrenal insufficiency, back issues... Life is interesting. 

Hala

I am appalled that you were treated so poorly.  I have been on and off this board over the last 10 years or so.  I know there have been times when folks disagreed with each other but I would never have guessed that a newbie was treated with anything less than respect.  I brought up the lurker issued but only because I was truly curious about the very large number of reads vs. posters.  We are interested in each others lives but also in WLS issues.  Sometimes we get bogged down on the personal side for awhile but we eventually remind ourselves why we came here in the first place.  Please join us.  We have been talking about our WLS experiences, our strategies for making good choices and our short term goals lately and I am sure you could contribute good ideas that we would love to try.

Hope to hear from you.

Linda,

Thank you for kind words, but don't worry about that. Really. I found this forum app 2012 or 2013...so I was hardly new to OH or internet posting.    Seen some of harsh responses... This forum - I just feel ignored. And that Really is OK. 

The PM I got - I did not take it personally.  Sometimes people are trying to protect their circles... And I was a stranger.  I don't believe it was done with ill intend.  

I still found this forum very interesting.   People share real life's... I liked how most of you conected. 

I am 55 ..and over my life I learned you can't please everyone...and you can't be friends with everyone. Not that I would ever want that anyone. And I try not to take rejections personally. 

I am rather opinionated... English is not my first (or even second) language, plus I typically use the tablet ...so my posts  often have spelling - grammar mistakes.  (hope most of us can ignore that - right?)

But like with every group- sometimes you don't feel you input is wanted, or needed... So I respectfully stayed away from posting.

I am active on other forums... ,

I really have no resentment or bad feeling towards anyone in this group.... 

BTW- my name is Hala,  I am an engineer, working for a small company. I try to reasearch everything to "death", and over the years get more confused with what to eat not eat post op any WLS... 

my profile is visible to friends only, but I do accept friends requests from others. So if you guys want to check my posting history, either "friend me" or just reach my posts... 

I am sometimes honest to a fault, and I often chose not to say anything than say something mean.  

Sorry you did not feel welcome. I don't have grandkids or kids either. Just a cat. I too sometimes don't have the time or energy to post daily; I work full-time. I often read posts but don't post. 

Hi ,

We have 3 cats total. Everyone of them is so very special. 

Just a short comment and don't want to belabor the point.

I too, after I posted, saw the posts that ' be careful we don't know who he/she is'.  

Strangely I had been a regular poster for some years and then fell away.  Wanted to return back but thought, NO, I don't think so.   I don't have anything on my ' home page' because am a v. private person.

I do lurk and enjoy the posts but will not join again.

All the best to all of you. 

yeap....